Minecraft and Materialism Part 6
Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert. Near them, on the sand,
Half sunk, a shattered visage lies…
And on the pedestal these words appear:
“My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!”
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away.
I have tried ignoring this moment, I’ve tried shifting my focus onto the construction and resources. But the time has come for me to face this head on. Death waits for no man. The Mandala must be destroyed, or it’s existence and my work will have had no meaning.
This Mandala has become the embodiment of my pride, my attachment, and my fears. They hurt as though I were trying to hold fire. My pride and attachment fan the coals and make the tinder, demanding that this be preserved and paraded around for all to see, a monument to what I am worth, while my fears reside within every block. Fear of loss, rejection, and misunderstanding are the sparks igniting my suffering
I share this with you all not to boast or to brag but for you to witness. Maybe to even share in the experience and understand.
I initially tried to destroy it with fire, but due to the nerf the fire spread all of one block before extinguishing itself. So I resorted to TNT. 24025 blocks of it to be exact. But I must admit, I was surprised what happened when I flipped the switch. The was no gnawing at my soul, no blood curdling shouts of “NO!”. No weight was lifted off of my shoulders, I cracked no smile, no uplifting feeling. I felt utterly indifferent. It was an event that happened and nothing more.
The sense of indifferent was like watching someone read a book in a library. They are in their world, and I am in mine. I didn’t care who they were or what they were reading. They just were. Is this what the monks feel? Is this what happens? Somewhere along the line you come to peace with the situation and just let it go? To separate yourself from something else and learn to exist outside the material world? Is this the peace that Buddha and the Lamas teach?
In that moment I was no longer suffering. The fire that ate at me no longer hurt. I was able to appreciate the fire for its warmth, light and color. But I was not attached to it. Content to watch and not grasp the flames.
I would like to say I came out of this experience enlightened and with answers to share. But I only have more questions. I don’t fully understand what happened, or the emotional change that came out of nowhere, or my shattered expectations. I suppose I have some more searching to do, but I am very intrigued as to what I will find.