Duke Nukem Does Not Cure Cancer!

Like a brilliantly cynical man once said, the only way Duke Nukem Forever would achieve any form of success, would be if it cured at least three forms of cancer. Well, after just over a decade of waiting for the damn game to be finished, we can finally find out. Apparently, DNF does in fact in not cure cancer. At least not if critics are to be believed. With overwhelmingly average scores on Metacritic and Gamerankings, it seems fairly evident that DNF has not been worth the wait.

Duke Nukem Forever now joins the list of long-awaited games, counting Daikatana and Too Human that subsequently turn out mediocre. I’m sure there are a number of Duke Nukem fans who silently wish that the game would have just remained vaporware, instead of gutting their sweet, sweet memories.

Evidently long development time does not always improve upon a game, and may in fact, as with the abovementioned examples, be detrimental to the game’s quality. Duke Nukem Forever was announced by 3D Realms in 1997, and has since then passed by two developers, the latest of which, Gearbox (Borderlands, Brothers in Arms) finally released the game on June 10^th (June 14^th in the US/Canada).

Or maybe…if you grind the disc to a powder, and then inhale it…maybe it cures cancer. It’s worth a shot, anyway. There’s apparently not much else to use the disc for.