Sonic Colors Preorder Bonus Is Terrible

Preorder bonuses usually reflect the interests of the players–usually, they’re just trinkets, or sometimes they’re a recreation of an in-game item. These bonuses usually produce acceptable, neat items which may incentivize you to preorder a game from retailer X over retailer Y. The DS Gold/Silver remakes of the Pokemon franchise, for example, gave you a cool little figurine depending on which version of the game you preordered:

Nothing wrong with these figurines: if you’re a fan, there’s no reason you wouldn’t appreciate them even a little. Persona 3 Portable preorders gave fans Junpei’s hat–and, even a person like me, who hated Junpei, could see the value in it. I probably wouldn’t wear it, since I don’t wear hats, but I wouldn’t mind displaying it next to my Fallout 3 lunchbox. Nothing wrong with this bonus, either. But the Sonic Colors preorder bonus from Gamestop?

Jesus christ. It’s things like these which make Sonic fans the armpit of fan-nation (sorry, Sonic fans, nothing against you). What would make Sega decide this would motivate customers to preorder Sonic Colors? What does this say about Sonic fans, really? If I was preordering this game, I’d tell Gamestop that they can keep the hat, because if it was in my possession, I’d probably hide it shamefully…hell, I might even burn it. Who would wear this? Who would display this? Who would admit to owning it? Even people who keep it can’t deny how terrible it is!